He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
