That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
