why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
