I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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