I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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