Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize