He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
