i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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