Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
