I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize