I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
