I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just invented taco cereal.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
