My nipple is on Facebook.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
