she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
