Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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