He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Everything about him screamed your future.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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