Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
