Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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