Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
