Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
