the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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