So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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