Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
