I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
40s are totally the cure
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
