Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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