D3 body, D1 cock
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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