Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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