Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
