its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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