highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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