last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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