dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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