She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
