How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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