Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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