tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Every concussion has its silver lining
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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