i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
