his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
