I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
