dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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