fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
