it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
