remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
