I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think a kid would responsible me up
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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