I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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