my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
