very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
