I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize