So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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