Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
