I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
