Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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