bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
