Say something about gay babies.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
