Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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