so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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