the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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