she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
