:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
