Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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