Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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