Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
