Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
