She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
