Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
