And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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