Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize