doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
