Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
