I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
